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Terms You Learn in Sexual Recovery – pt.1

May 27, 2009

This week, I want to introduce you to terms that are frequently used in sexual recovery groups.  They have been important for me to understand, and have helped me examine my own life. 

ADDICTION
This very term brings up extreme thoughts.  I can’t be addicted to sex, porn, lust or masturbation… that’s only for the really bad people.  Those are the perverts and the child molestors.   Trust me, every guy in recovery has said this.

evil_video_game_addictionAddiction is easily defined as something you just cannot seem to stop.  Face it, if you’ve tried 25 times to stop a behavior and you pick it up again for the 26th time, you’re addicted.

Addiction is a coping mechanism.  We use a behavior to cover hurt and pain.  We use it to medicate with.  

Addiction is progressive.  It takes more of a behavior or substance to get the same high.  We take more and more risks to achieve the same effesct.  We explore the behavior deeper.  We become dangerous, by taking new risks. 

We are probably all addicted to something, when we look at it hard enough. 


BOTTOM LINES
Bottom lines are:  ” the sexual actions you do that cross the line”.  For some it might be Internet, porn shops, adultery, voyerism, compulsive masturbation, or objectifying women. 

battlegroundBottom line behaviors are the current battlegrounds for someone in recovery.  These are the areas they are  targeting to stay pure in.  A recovering person talks to the group about these areas, sets up accountability, and is open about this struggles in these areas. 

Since our battles change, so should our bottom lines.  We can establish new bottom lines when we achieve a level of sobriety from these behaviors.  Or if we have a relapse, we need to bring these bottom lines back to the forefront.

Check back tomorrow for Part 2

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