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Terms You Learn in Sexual Recovery – pt. 3

May 29, 2009

This week, I want to introduce you to terms that are frequently used in sexual recovery groups.  They have been important for me to understand, and have helped me examine my own life.

awrestlexThis is a term I have heard many guys say in addiction groups.  When  they are having a bad day and the struggle is hard, they talk of “white knuckling” it.  They are just hanging on, feeling the temptation hard, and just waiting for the day to pass.  A “white knuckle” day is the day where the battle feels harder and you have to gut through it

Everyone has days like this.  It is especially prevent in the early stages of recovery when we go through withdrawals.  But if a person is “white knuckling it” all the time, something is wrong.  Something more extreme needs to be done. 

“Check In” time in a recovery group is the time when you report on your week.  It’s the time to be open and honest about your behaviors, your relationships, you bottom lines, and where you are emotionally.  Check in time should be met with confidentiality, love, encouragement, and counsel. 

PROBLEMS WITH CHECK-IN  – We can run into trouble during check-in when someone:

checklist21.  Seems to have no struggles at all

2.  Minimizes or rationalizes their sins

3.  Is consistently having problems with the same things

4.  Blames others for their own behaviors

5.  Starts talking too long about things that don’t relate to recovery

mexican_art_armsYou make yourself accountable when you place yourself under the submission of another and give him or her permission to ask questions about areas of your life, and call you to task for your commitments.  You must give an account for your actions. 

The person who is accountable has the responsibility of being open and honest.  It is his recovery and growth and will do him no good if he is hiding things from is accountability partner.

Accountability is built on trust.  It is done well in a safe environment.  The accountability partner must be trustworthy and able to keep confidences. 

Accountability also needs to have some structure to it.  A regular phone call or meeting each week.  A regular set of questions. 

Come back tomorrow for Part 4 of the series

Part 1:

Part 2:

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  1. Terms You Learn in Sexual Recovery – pt. 4 « Porn To Purity Blog

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