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Helping My Husband Fight the Battle

June 12, 2009

suitcaseThere are times when I know Jeff is more prone to slip up on the road to recovery.  These include when he is tired, when he is stressed and when he is lonely.  I don’t travel much, but when I do it is a perfect storm for Jeff.  As the lone caretaker for our two active boys while I’m out of town – the stress and exhaustion come quickly.  The loneliness soon follows.  Here are some things I try to do to support Jeff when I have to be away from home.

  1. I take his struggle seriously.  I ask him about his strategy. I encourage him and affirm him.
  2. I try to help him find some pockets of time to recharge.  Maybe that means scheduling a babysitter one evening while I’m gone so he can go to his group.  Or arrange a play date so he can enjoy a few hours of quiet at the house.  
  3. I spend time with him alone before and after the trip.  No kids, no “to do” list. Whether it is a date night or just a quiet evening after putting the kids to bed, I let him know that I love him by speaking his love language.
  4. I leave notes of encouragement.  This is something I use to do just for the boys, but Jeff loves it too.  I put them on the bathroom mirror, on the front door, in dresser drawers.  I want all my boys to be reminded that they are the world to me.
  5. I talk to him frequently while I’m out of town. I’m not a phone talker, but Jeff has shared with me that he really needs to talk to me while I’m gone.  So I give him my full attention, which means I turn off the tv and the computer and focus on him.  I also try to let him end the conversation, so he doesn’t feel as if I’m rushing him.
  6. I pray for him.  I confess that I don’t do this nearly as much as I should.  But I ask the Lord to keep Jeff strong, to give the boys a smooth, easy week, and to protect Jeff’s eyes from temptation.  I never forget that this is a spiritual battle, which can only be fought by prayer.
  1. June 14, 2009 10:46 am

    a very good information&inspiring gbu Pa!.

  2. June 14, 2009 10:46 am

    a very good information&inspiring…gbu

  3. alaandrei permalink
    June 15, 2009 5:03 pm

    your testimony is of great incouragment for others, as I read I remembered the verse written in Proverbs 14:1 “A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish plucks it down with her hands. ” May God bless you and your husband for being so open as to speak about this in order to help others who are struggling to find their way from porn to purity

  4. Anonymous permalink
    June 24, 2009 11:22 am

    Hi there, I found your blog via Google while searching for sites about tennis and your post looks very interesting for me.

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