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Secrets: New Beginnings Are Not Enough

June 30, 2009

Secrets_BookThis week Jeff and Marsha are reviewing and sharing insights from the book   Secrets: A True Story of Addiction, Infidelity, and Second Chances by Jonathan Daugherty.  Jonathan is the founder and director of Be Broken Ministries

“thinking that the new beginning alone would be enough to overcome a deficit brought about by the secret….  While it may seem noble and right to move forward in hope and determination, as long as the secret remained inside me there woudl be no progress toward real freedom and wholeness, either within me or in any of my relationships.”  Secrets, pp. 94-95


We like the idea of starting over don’t we?  A fresh start.  It might be a move, a confession, a new job, a remarriage, or a recommitment.  But we forget that we take who we are with us.  We may be able to change the outside circumstances and setting, but if we haven’t dealt with the layers things inside of us that have caused the problem, we are doomed to repeat our failures.

We really think if we start over, our problems and the consequences will go away.  That’s escapism.  It’s a lie. 

Those of us who have secret addictions need to bring them out into the light if we want to be healed.  We need to be courageous and talk about our secrets.  We need deep work and deep confession and deep repentence.

New beginnings are good.  But new beginnings alone will not cure sexual addiction.

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