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Trumpet Lessons and Sexual Recovery

July 14, 2009



I took up trumpet in 8th grade.  I worked hard at it and did pretty well.  When I started taking private lessons, my level of playing changed.  With the help of my private lessons, I was able to develop my skills and gained confidence to try out in solo and state competitions. 

 My trumpet private lesson teacher taught me many lessons that apply to more than trumpet playing.  Here are several lessons that I think apply to sexual recovery too. 

trumpet lesson 

1.  You have to work on the BASICS to get better
Communication, friendships, reading, praying, honesty, transparency… these are all basics in recovery.  Work on them.  They are building blocks for a solid sexuality 

 2.  You need to make a COMMITMENT to practice
Recovery doesn’t happen overnight.  You dig out one shovel full at a time.  Many days are hard.  Many days will be better.  You may have to spend hours working on small things, but you can get them.  A commitment to purity and to your relationships has to be there.

 3.  You need SOMEONE MORE EXPERIENCED to listen, diagnose, and help you
No person can do it on their own.  We have blind spots.  We need be hear from mentors, counselors and those who have been successful in their own recovery. 

 4. As you gain experience and skills, you will learn to SELF-CORRECT 
Eventually, you will be able to do some things on your own.  You will gain strength and knowledge.  You will have boundaries and relationship set up that will help you in your purity.  As you get more experienced and successful in recovery, you will be able to diagnose yourself and turn to the right places for help. 

maynard ferguson 5.  You need to be CONSISTENT with your homework and with coming to private lessons
Private lessons for the sexual addict are Group, accountability, and counseling meetings.  You’ve got to be an active part of one or all of these.  You’ve got to come consistently and be honest.  You’ve got to do the reading and the assignments, and whatever work is necessary to be well.

 6.  If you want to be good, you will have to SACRIFICE a lot of things
Some things in your life need to go.  Old habits, old friends, certain types of movies & programs, ways of thinking.  Jesus told us to cut our hand off it causes us to stumble.  He means sacrifice and radical obedience.  Cut out the unhealthy things, so you can insert the healthy things. 


What other lessons have your learned in life that have helped you stay pure?
What else could you compare recovery to?

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One Comment
  1. July 16, 2009 3:41 am

    Great advice! There are also great books out there to help individuals and couples who have a sex addiction. Victoria Prater and Garry Prater, a married couple who have had the complication of pornography and sex addiction enter and exit their relationship, have written a great book titled, “Love and Pornography,” to help other couples going through the same issues cope. I read this book for my college psychology class and was very impressed with their honesty on the subject. Sometimes people just need to know that they are not the only ones going through such trials, in order to get over their own issues.

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