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How I Am Finding Healing From My Anger – Pt.1

July 18, 2009

It’s easy to blame someone and be mad at them. When my sexual addiction came out on the table, I was mad at everyone: myself, my wife, my parents, my mentors, my friends, God.

  • For some… I thought they were part of the problem
  • For some… I thought they had let me down
  • For some… I thought they forced me to lose my job and leave the area
  • For some… I thought they made me the way I am
  • For some… I felt their threats and expectations set me up for failure

I want to share some of the things that are helping me find healing from my anger. Maybe they will be an encouragement to you.


1. SHARING MY ANGER AND HURTS
Sharing my anger was an important part of my recovery. I had hurts building up in my life, I was experiencing the hurt from the consequences of my sin, and I had hurts from the rejection and separation I was feeling.

Part of my working through this was sharing my anger with counselors, with friends, with those that had hurt me. I needed to get some of it off my chest. But getting there’s a fine line between “getting it off my chest” and “being vindictive”. My attitude many times was: I’m hurt, so I want others to hurt.

I had a pattern of not sharing my feelings and hurts, and had to learn to share them. Instead of “acting out” sexually, I began to talk with others about the junk in my life.

journal2. WRITING IT OUT
I started carrying around a notebook with me. At first, it was to have a healthy outlet to work out my feelings and needs. I would write instead of “act out”. But notebook writing became a place for me to process my thoughts.

I can actually “work things out” in my notebook. I can hear myself think and get some clues to what’s going on inside.


3. HEARING OUR STORY
Marsha and I have been interviewed by a few newspapers and podcasts. We’ve even done a few podcasts of our own. It’s always interesting to hear ourselves on a podcast. I can literally hear myself talk. I can hear my voice and the way I’m presenting my story.

I identify with me. I hear myself and think about my story. It’s like I’m on the outside looking in.

I also able to hear my voice and process things a little more objectively. When I’m hurt, I present MY side of the story. I represent ME and want others to see the hurt I went through or pity ME.

3 Comments
  1. July 24, 2009 2:21 pm

    Hello,

    Are you on Twitter?

    Thanks!

    PG

    • July 24, 2009 9:20 pm

      Hi PG,

      No we’re not on Twitter. We still have older phones. Nothing smart about our phones yet. Perhaps when we have our next upgrade.

      Thanks for the inquiry.
      Jeff

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