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Four Types of Intimacy Building

August 17, 2009

Today I wanted to share some intimacy builders for you and your spouse.


Marsha and I have a unique week. Our kids are with their grandparents all week. It is very unusual for us, but very exciting! We are using this time for intimacy building.


To a sexual addict, intimacy only means one thing… SEX!   But true intimacy is “knowing someone deeply and being known by them deeply”. It is knowing each other.

Marsha and I did a very poor job of knowing each other during the first 11 years of our marriage. We made a lot of things work. But our lives were still filled with hidden parts, and my growing secret addiction.


FACE TIME – We are making an extra effort this week to be around each other. Face time. Hanging out. Running errands together. Sitting on the couch together. Being in the same room. We have both cleared our calendars out to make sure that we don’t have anything in the evenings.

QUIET TIME – Why is it that we have to schedule in our calendars to be quiet? But living today is loud. Living with kids is loud. We are making intentional efforts this week to be quiet. Some of our quiet time is to reconnect with God. Some is to rest. Some is to just enjoy being around one another.

DATE TIME – A different type of hangout time. What can we do that’s out of the ordinary? What can we do that’s special? For us it’s going out to eat, walking in a mall or making a movie run.

BED TIME – No details here (sorry).

  1. August 17, 2009 3:49 pm

    This is amazing. As I read this, I went back over my weekend with my wife. Strangly enough, without really planning it, it was as you describe above. As it progressed, we discussed how important these things were.

    At least I know we’re on the right path!

    Awesome stuff,

    • August 17, 2009 5:47 pm

      Thanks for your comment and being a part of the P2P community. I’m glad your marriage reflects some of the things we are doing. Maybe that means we’re on the right track too? 🙂

      I checked out your blog too.
      Looks like it’s off to a good start.


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