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Longing For Egypt: The Pull to Return to Porn

August 19, 2009

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** We’re glad to welcome to PorntoPurity.com today’s guest blogger Luke Gilkerson.  Luke Gilkerson is the Internet Community Manager at Covenant Eyes. He is the general editor and primary author of the Covenant Eyes blog:  Breaking Free.

 

Stockholm Syndrome:  the psychological response where hostages begin to show loyalty to their captors.

 

Longing for Egypt 

We can see Stockholm-like symptoms in the attitudes of the wandering Israelites. It had only been a few weeks since they had seen God split the Red Sea.  Yet even after that incredible deliverance, Israel still murmured against God when they ran out of provisions.

The whole camp of Israel had grown bitter as they thought back to their life of slavery in Egypt. At least there, they thought, they ate around pots of meat and had all the bread they wanted (Exodus 16:1-3).

Similarly, after hearing about the great foes that awaited them in Canaan, instead of trusting God to help them enter the land, they said, “Would it not be better for us to go back to Egypt? Let us choose a leader and go back” (Number 14:1-4).

Wasn’t this the same group of people who, in Exodus 2:23, groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help? Yet instead of remembering the cruelty of Egypt—the task masters, the heavy burdens, the years of toil making bricks under the hot sun, and the ruthless slaughter of their children—they remembered pots of meat.

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Longing for Pornfeeling_lonely

I had been just as guilty of the same lunacy when it comes to my habitual sins, such as my compulsive use of pornography.  Sure, in my most sober moments I could see the ugliness of sin for what it was.  But there were many moments when I rushed back to porn like a dog to its vomit.

In those times, it was like I was blind to the treachery, the sadness, the shame, and the oppressiveness of my addiction.  Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say:  I saw all those things, but they somehow seemed less ugly.  Something in me wanted to be addicted, wanted the slavery because I had developed a strong attachment to that slave master.

scaredSure, he made my life a living hell, but there was a sort of twisted comfort in the fleeting pleasures he offered.  It was like I was walking around in a fog of confusion.

The apostle Peter diagnosed this as spiritual “nearsightedness.” He speaks of the Christian who, though he has escaped the corrupt desires of the world, lacks qualities of virtue, self-control, steadfastness, godliness, and love because he has become “so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins” (2 Peter 1:9).

 

** Tomorrow, Luke will conclude his article with some great helps on “How to Break Free From Porn’s Pull”. 

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