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How to Work on Your Fantasy Life – Part 1

August 25, 2009

night-fantasy-artToday and tomorrow we want to share 14 tips to help you deal with your fantasy life.

So many who are trying to be sexually pure struggle in their fantasy life. It is easier to deal with outward behaviors – much harder to work on the inward behaviors. The fantasy life is a challenging area for most people, and one of those major recovery milestones. The wild mind has developed over time, and take some work to purify. But we believe it can be done. We have met many who have been able to have purer (not perfect) thought lives. With God’s help, the mind can be used for pure things.

The basics have to do with cutting off the flow, embracing God, and embracing reality. Here are the first 7 tips to consider:

1.  UNDERSTANDING THE ROOTS OF YOUR FANTASY WORLD – It’s normal for a child and adolescent to explore make-believe and fantasy.  It’s normal to have dreams.  But at some point, the imaginations took a sexual turn.  Try to figure out where your fantasy life started going off the deep end.

Also, look at your unmet needs during your adolescence, college-age, and into adulthood.  What needs did you have that you began to try and meet with your fantasies? 

bible2.  FILL YOUR MIND WITH GOD’S WORD – Since fantasy is an outflow of the heart and the mind, we need something strong to push the bad stuff out.  God’s Word is living and powerful.  His Word invites His Spirit and presence to work on our hearts and minds.  Plus, God’s Word is a “good source”.  It’s healthy and a great place to be in battling fantasy.

3.  MEMORIZE PURITY VERSES – Start reading God’s Word and when you get to verses that talk about purity, write them down and memorize them.  Go to Romans chapter 6, 7, or 8.  Go to Proverbs 5 & 7.  Go to Ephesians 5.  Those are good places to get some great verses to put in your mind.  Get into God’s Word and get God’s Word into you.

4.  PRAY AND SURRENDER – Surrender your mind to God and your fantasies.  Specifically name the ones that are giving you the most problems.  Admit that you are powerless and invite God to help you.

raging_river5.  CUT OFF THE FLOW – Garbage in, garbage out – right?  Cut out the things you can control:  the TV shows, Internet, magazines, relationships.  This will help with being bombarded with sexual images.

6.  START A HEALTHY FLOW – Get the garbage out… now put some good stuff in.  Fill your mind and heart with healthy reading and shows.  It seems so simple, but it really works!

7.  WRITE DOWN THE LIES THAT FANTASY TELLS YOU – I didn’t say write out your fantasies, but think about the lies that you are imagining with your fantasies.  Fantasies are not real.  They are based our our own lusts and desires.  They are things that we would like to happen. 

In fantasy, you pretend to be someone you are not.  And you pretend that the other person is something that they are not.  You also pretend that the world is something that it is not.  Do some disection of this and it will be a great benefit to you.

 

Tomorrow, we will share 7 more tips to help you. 

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