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How to Work on Your Fantasy Life – Part 2

August 26, 2009

fantasy1Yesterday, we offered 7 tips to help you deal with your fantasy life, today we offer 7 more things that have been very helpful for Jeff and for many others.

Having a pure mind can seem like an impossible thing. But God can help you get there. Set your standard high. Engage His help in developing a pure mind.

The basics have to do with cutting off the flow, embracing God, and embracing reality.

8.  WHAT PAIN / NEEDS ARE YOU COVERING UP? – Engaging in fantasy is a way to medicate pain.  It is a way to entertain ourselves, prevent boredom, escape.  This is the undercurrent.  What’s going on underneath the surface that you are in need of.  You’ll be surprised how much of an eye-opener it is when you discover your needs and hurts.

hypnotized9.  EMBRACE REALITY – Fantasy is based on a lie.  It is an imagination, a distortion of reality in a sexual way.  Turning away from fantasy means embracing the real.  That’s why this process can be so difficult.  Many times our reality is sad to us and hurtful.  The fantasy life is so much more appealing than our real life.  But we have to move back in the reality direction.

10.  CULTIVATE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS – People who have excessive fantasy often isolate themselves from healthy relationships.  If they have relationships, they are often shallow.  Work on spending time with people.  Talking about each others lives.  A counselor may be able to help you with this step also.

11.  TALK ABOUT IT WITH SOMEONE IN RECOVERY – The fantasy life is often done in secret.  It needs to be brought out into the light with someone safe.  Talk to a counselor, a support group, a minister, or a trusted friend about your fantasy life.  The more specific you are able to get, the more helpful it will be to your healing. 

Undercurrent12.  REPLACE THE LUST FLOW WITH THE LOVE FLOW – Sexual fantasies are pure lust.  They are selfish to the core.  Start thinking of ways you can help others.  Show love to others by serving them, doing nice things for them, caring, being selfless. 

13.  TIME ALONE IS A KILLER – A hotbed for fantasy right here!  Spend more time with people and in public places. 

14.  BOREDOM IS A KILLER –Fill up your schedule with productive things.  Stay busy.  Find new avenues to stimulate your passions, creativity and energy. 


Q:  What other things have helped you with your fantasy life? 

Sound off!  It could be really helpful to lots of guys and girls.

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