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Lessons From a You-Tube Slip Up

August 30, 2009

youtube-logo(2)A slip up on You Tube the other day reminded me of how careful I have to be when searching online.

I heard a rock song on the radio the other day that I had not heard in a long time. I could not find the song on I-Tunes, so I went to YouTube to try to locate it. When the song was loading I noticed a comment someone had left in the side about the video saying:

“A lame video, but at least it has nudity.”

That should have been warning enough for me to turn it, but I started to compromise with myself:

  • “I just want to listen to the song. I won’t watch it.”
  • “I’ll just watch a little bit and then turn away if something gets bad.”
  • “I’ll just move the screen so I see half of the video.”

I did see a flash of something and shortly after turned it off. It was very quick and I went on to other things. I figured it wasn’t a big deal.


The next day, it started to bug me. In the past, I wouldn’t worry about it. I would just let it slide away and try to forget it. Early in my recovery, I made a promise to my accountability partner that I would share any computer problems with him.

Now, I’m at a point of intimacy with my wife, where I can share with her any problems I have with the computer or TV.

I didn’t want to share, but I knew I had to.

We had a good talk about it. We talked about what led up to it, my intent, how quickly I turned it off, and how it affected me after.



CAN’T GO SITES – some sites are bad, period! Some sites are triggery. Some sites can easily lead to me acting out. I can’t go to these sites at all.

SLOW DOWN SITES – Some sites I have to slow down and think before I click.

** YouTube is one of those sites that may need to be a “can’t go site”, especially for the sexaddict. It’s just too easy to click, search and find.

KEEP MY GUARD UP – Everytime I am on the Internet I have to keep my guard up. I cannot slack off or get casual.


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