Skip to content

A Safe Environment in Church to Talk About Sexual Struggles – Part 2

September 9, 2009

Yesterday I shared 4 ways churches can create a safe environment for people to share their sexual struggles in.  

1. Testimonies
2. Preach sermons about healthy sexuality
3. Balance the “Thou Shalt Not” sermons with “Thou Shall” sermons
4. Atmosphere of Grace, Love & Mercy

Here are 5 more suggestions:   

5. Bring in Speakers (men and women)
For some reason, it’s easier to break the ice on difficult subjects when you bring in a guest speaker. Bring someone in from one of these great ministries like Pure Live Ministries, Focus on the Family, Be Broken Ministries. Bring in someone from Mark Laaser’s office or Doug Weiss’ office. Have them be the expert to the people and skillfully help people to be authentic.

Don’t forget about the women. We think men are the only ones struggling with porn.  An increasing number of women struggle too. Also, for every husband addicted to porn, there’s a wife that is hurting.


6. Make Resources Available
Shame on the church that talks about sexual stuff and counsels people and doesn’t have good resources available. At least guide them to a couple of websites or blogs. Take the time to put together a good list. Point people to counselors, SA programs, Celebrate Recovery, books and podcasts.

Here are some resources from our main site  CLICK HERE

Here is a list of resources from Covenant Eyes CLICK HERE


7. Share your own struggles and victories
Now we’re talking! If a minister shares about his or her own struggles and victories with pornography, it is incredibly real and personal. We look to our ministers as perfect people who have no struggles. It doesn’t help when they work to maintain that image before the people. There is a place for the minister to share his story and struggles.


8. Confidentiality
Someone who shares their deepest secrets has to know that there will be a confidentiality. They have to feel that the atmosphere is safe. Go out of your way to say that things shared in private will not be shared. Provide some avenues for people to share anonymously if they want (blog, phone line, email address). Help them feel safe.



9. Be a church that restores and embraces, rather than shuns and kicks out
People will fall. People will fall. Be the church that is an exception. Be the church that puts their arms around the hurting and wounded. Be the church that takes the time to help the hurting people. Let hurting people interrupt your schedule. Get a little messy. You have to do that when you spend time with hurting and messed up people.

Create avenues and ministries in your church like Celebrate Recovery or a support group that can help the hurting.




Q: What needs to happen for your church to feel safe?
Q: How is your church doing?
Q: What else would make your church a safe place?

Leave a blog comment or email us at

Also check out:  9 Sexual Words You Can’t Say in Church.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: