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The First Commandment of Improv and Sexual Addiction

October 15, 2009




I was watching “Inside the Actors’ Studio” the other night. They had Amy Poehler (formerly from SNL) on. She was talking about her rise through the Improv circles and mentioned that the First Commandment of Improv was:

“Yes, and…”

I was intrigued. She explained that when comedians are improving scenes and they throw it to you, your job is to accept it, roll with it, and turn it into something new.

Isn’t that good? We can learn from that phrase as we are working on our own sexual purity, recovery, or marriage.

The “yes, and” commandment evokes several thoughts about recovery:


DON’T FIGHT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU – Accept the reality of it, and go from there. We spend so much time in the shock and denial stages. We refuse to recognize that our lives or marriages just fell apart. A key part of the recovery process is accepting what has happened and starting to work on it.

ACCEPTING DOESN’T EQUAL APPROVAL – Just because something has happened to us doesn’t mean that it was right. We don’t have to ever approve of the action or behavior. Don’t get trapped into thinking that falling into sexual sin, or an adulterous relationship was somehow God’s will. It never was. We are the ones who choose to follow our lusts, and act sinfully.

THE START DOESN’T HAVE TO LOOK LIKE THE FINISH – Failing doesn’t automatically make you a failure. Maybe the consequences you are feeling in your life and marriage are huge, but they do not have to be permanent. God is in the business or restoring. He wants our lives and our marriages to be whole and reconciled. He can help you through this. He can help you take what you’ve messed up and turn it into something better.

TURNING THINGS AROUND IS A PROCESS – Things are not going to turn around instantly if you’ve fallen to sexual sin. There are a lot of things you have to learn and unlearn. Behaviors, attitudes, and commitments have to be adjusted and rebooted. It takes time to take what you have been given and turn it around into something different.


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