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Feeling Entitled: You Owe Me!

November 13, 2009



I have the right to look at porn.

My spouse owes me some sex.

I can use the computer whenever I want.  It doesn’t matter what I look at.

I need to masturbate to meet my sexual needs.

I can watch any movie I want to.

My spouse doesn’t meet my needs, so it’s OK to have this relationship.

These are all statements of entitlement.  Entitlement is a wicked place to be.  Entitlement is one of those dangerous things that can creep into our sexual recovery process. 

When you feel entitled, you feel like you deserve something.  You feel like you have I coming.  You feel like someone owes it to you, or you owe it to yourself. 

Mine. Mine. Mine.

You may be frustrated that your sexual needs are not getting met.  You may be mad at God for making you a certain way.  Maybe you are mad at your spouse because she won’t have sex with you more or fulfill your fantasies.  It’s not long before you will feel entitled. 

You may be working on your sexual recovery and hit a lot of frustrations and struggles.  It’s easy to slip into feeling entitled to act out just because your life is hard.  You talk yourself into thinking that you deserve to do something sexual and ungodly.


Our bodies are no our own – they belong to God and our spouses first, then ourselves. 

Entitlement is selfish, not serving – Look back on those statements of entitlement.  They are self-centered.  They are prideful.  They are not characteristic of God’s direction. 

Consider the Big Picture – Struggles are a part of our growth.  If things are difficult in our relationships, we have to do the hard work to make them work.  God is making us into something bigger and better and purer.  It’s a challenging road sometimes.

Consider the Lord’s Will – God will never direct you to do something that goes against His will, is selfish or immoral, or devalues women.  That’s not God speaking, its you.  We may feel strongly about doing something sexual or demanding, but that is coming from ourselves and our lust.

Entitlement doubts the Lord’s provision – God has promised to give us our “daily bread”.  Everything we need for today.  When we take matters into our own hands, we deny Him the opportunity to provide.  We also communicate that we don’t trust Him to provide or help us.  God is strong and can help us through any struggle or frustration.

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