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Submission – Critical to Recovery

November 19, 2009


The quicker you’re able to learn to submit to others, the quicker your recovery process will be.

Let’s define the term first: 


v. sub·mit·ted, sub·mit·ting, sub·mits

1. To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another.

2. To subject to a condition or process.

3. To commit (something) to the consideration or judgment of another.

4. To offer as a proposition or contention


People who are steeped in sexual sin are masters of control.  They have secrets to keep and they have to control their environment and actions so their secrets don’t get out. 

Sexual behaviors are often about control.  A person is in control of their fantasies and their porn use.  They try to control others and manufacture sexual scenarios.  

People with sexual sin are selfish, self-absorbed, and arrogant.  Lust by it’s nature is selfish

Society tells us to be in control.  Our peers tell us to be in control.  The media tells us to be in control. 


Somewhere in the recovery process, it hits us that we are not in control.  Maybe a hard patch of consequences reminds us.  Maybe we lose our job.  Maybe we relapse.  This is a great place to be. 

Before, we were arrogant, self-centered, and self-absorbed.  But when we start to grow we start to look for the help of others and from God.  This is the beginning place of humility.  This is the beginning place of submission. 

Realizing there are many things you can’t control is a tough spot.  It is counter culture.  It goes against the grain.  Nobody likes to admit they don’t know what to do. 

 Lies You’ll Hear – Be careful when you get to this place!  This is where a lot of lies set in.  The lie that says, “your situation is hopeless”.  The lie that says, “you are alone”.  The lie that says, “you can’t talk about this.”  The lie that says, “you are a failure.” 


The critical point in our sexual purity and recovery happens when we submit to others and to God.  Let others speak into your life.  Others have been through the same things and have a lot of wisdom.  Others can identify with you.  Others can help you with your blind spots.  Others can help you get through the humps and the struggles. 

 Look for:

  1. Other men or women who share your struggle
  2. Skilled hands who can help you – counselors, pastors
  3. Your spouse
  4. God Himself

Submitting to these people says, “I am powerless to fix it, but you can help.”  Submission is a place where we listen and learn.  It is a place where we get busy writing stuff down in our notebooks or journals.  It is where we start buying books, listening to podcasts, reading the Porn to Purity Blog J, going to Intensive Counseling sessions…

When we give up control, God can do His best work.  Others can be quite valuable in helping you grow.


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