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My Thoughts on Tiger May Surprise You (by Marsha)

December 11, 2009

My reaction to the Tiger Woods scandal is much different now than it would have been five years ago.  Back then, I would have joined the crowd in condemning Tiger for his lack of self control and for embarrassing his wife and family.  I would have questioned how he could be involved with other women, given how beautiful his own wife is. And I would have assumed that nothing could repair the breach of trust that he inflicted on his marriage.

That is how I would have felt before my own world fell apart.  Now, I feel a deep sense of compassion for Tiger and his wife.  I felt the same for David Letterman, Governor Spitzer, and Governor Sanford.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t gloss over what these husbands did.  I don’t excuse their behavior as being just a lapse in good judgment and I don’t minimize the damage of their choices.  But I do feel very sad for them.  They were living a secret life that was eating away at their marriages and they were oblivious to the consequences until they were caught.   Now, not only has their shame been exposed to their family, but to the entire world.  My hope is that getting caught will be the first step in finding God’s gift of healthy intimacy, as it was for my marriage.  There is hope, but it is only in the redeeming power of Christ.



When my husband lost his job after his pornography binges were discovered, his secret world was uncovered as well.  Our seemingly perfect marriage was exposed for the lie it was.  Our world fell apart and people watched and judged from a distance.  I felt their compassion for me and the children, but not for my husband.  It was as if he had committed an unthinkable and unforgivable sin.  They distanced themselves quickly from him, further alienating him with their silence.

I guess in some ways I should be thankful for their callous reaction.  Seeing the ugliness of their lack of forgiveness and how it affected Jeff stirred something in my heart.  It made me want to comfort my husband and walk beside him in his darkest hour. 

Because of what Jeff and I went through, I now have a tremendous sense of compassion for someone whose world just fell apart.  What I learned from our own painful experience is that when people have hit rock bottom, when they are beginning to grasp the seriousness of their actions and hurt over the choices they have made, that is the time to run and embrace them, remind them of God’s unmerited love and His complete forgiveness. 

I am no different than my husband, Tiger Woods or any other liar, cheater or homewrecker.  My sin may look different to others, but it is all the same to my Jesus, who chooses to forgive me anyway and covers my shame with his blood.  Why are we so shocked at the evidence of our sinfulness? Instead, we should stand in awe of God’s graceful and merciful response. 

To the adulterous women he said: “Go and sin no more.” John 8:14

To the paralytic: “Take courage son; your sins are forgiven.”  Matthew 9:2

To a repentant disciple, “Tend my sheep.” John 21:17


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  1. JeffTN62 permalink
    December 13, 2009 9:45 pm

    Thank you for you vulnerability to share your heart. I was blessed this week to be asked to take a more of a leadership role in my CR group and have started sharing your web site to those I know would benefit from the knowledge that is here. I know my wife 9 months ago thought her world had come crashing down ..but God has done some miraculous things in a short time as “I” finally gave my desires and heart back to Jesus. I have the freedom to choose again and not be driven to indulge my drug of choice porn and related sexual sins. I haven’t met you but feel a kinship and know that God is going to use you mightily in the near future.


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