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Would My Sexual Problems Go Away if I Had a Fantasy Wife?

January 15, 2010

** This is a reprint of a post from June 15th, 2009

Every entertainment program and magazine touts the latest Hollywood dream couple.  Reality programs always seem to include a former Playboy bunny, guaranteeing high ratings.  Yet these same programs months later report that these dream couples are cheating on each other. 

What gives?  Don’t these people understand they are together with the most beautiful people on the planet?  Why on earth do they cheat on each other?

You may have thought the same thing:  “If I had a wife like that, I would never cheat! “ or “If I had that girl, my sexual desires would be met all the time and I’d be just fine.” 

We probably have looked at our spouse with that type of comparison.  Here are some thoughts about why beautiful people still cheat on each other:barbie

  1.  They have deep wounds from their past and backgrounds that they need healing from
  2. The have deep, unmet needs inside
  3. They are two imperfect people in relationship with each other
  4. They are selfish at their core.
  5. They relationship is built more on sex and lust than it is relationship and true intimacy
  6. Multiple marriages make failure easier
  7. They are not content, even when we get the prize of the trophy wife or hunky husband
  8. They have busy, independent lives that keep them from each other, and expose them to dangerous situations

Guys are especially bad.  They tend to think that if they just had a gorgeous, nymphomaniac wife, their life would be fine and they wouldn’t be tempted anymore.  But marriage is not about sex with the pretty girl.  It’s about growing deep in relationship.  It’s about serving one another.  It’s about struggling together with each other’s junk.

Don’t fall victim to the lie that the pretty girl is the answer.

Go to prayer and ask God to help you learn to “Rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (Proverbs 5:18)

One Comment
  1. JeffTN62 permalink
    January 17, 2010 1:43 pm

    Those us with lust problems, also have envy issues …with the IF ONLY .. syndrome.. if only she… or if only I had… if only I could… the future poison that effects us to live in the future for making life perfect and the past hurts we hang on too, with out day by day reality to exist in and deal with things.

    Reality is, no matter how beautiful, smart, wealthy, etc.. this issue effects everyone… Wives wish they could be more of this or that, and that would have kept their Man in line, which is a lie, the deep seated root of lust and porn is far removed from the obvious surface issues that would seemingly make someone happy.

    But reality it’s not about them how beautiful or not, its about a sin problem or addiction problem. Conditions can possibly repress a situation but not fix it long term- example so many women fall into that Mr Looking at Porn before marriage is probably not going to stop after marraige, because she can fix him, provide for him, etc..

    I just find it interesting that even Hugh Hefner the playboy of all playboys, discontinued a relationship recently because his girlfriend was cheating on him… hmmm it hurts when it’s you I guess, we are possibly not just animals after all. (read on Fox News-FYI!)

    There is hope that like me and many others we hit rock bottom and dealt with our porn issues and now have a marriage and relationship that is far beyond what we could have imagined.

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