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A Strategy For Recovery: Build a Good Defense

January 20, 2010

Finding success in sexual purity is dependent on a good strategy.  A good strategy is balanced with defense and offense.  

A football team that makes it to the playoffs finds a balance between defense and offense.  So must you in your battle for purity.  

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about the offensive strategy.  

Defense means “setting up a strong blockade”.  It is preventing the enemy or opposing forces from affecting you and your performance.  It is the external.  It is largely behavioral in nature.  Most people start with their defense.  

1.  Roadblocks – A recovery word for anything defensive.  The more things you can set up between a temptation and acting out, the better your defense.  Roadblocks do not guarantee purity, but they make acting out much harder.  

2.  Computer Filters – Content filters, Accountability filters (see below), someone else has your password, limited hours on computer, curfew.  

3.  Clean House – Get rid of all triggery magazines, DVDs, books, computer images & videos.  Have your spouse sift through the ads in the paper, or throw them away.  

4.  Block and filter your TV – Use the ratings filters for your TV.  Password protect your TV or institute a curfew.  

5.  Boundaries – Draw lines of defense around triggery places, people, things.  A new route home from work.  Deleting people from you phone or on Facebook.  Avoid certain people at work.  

6.  Accountability – Get an accountability partner or partners.  Work up a list of questions around your triggers, and hold each other to them.  Meet regularly.  Let them help you with your defense.  

7.  Bible Reading / Prayer / Memory Verses – Have a regular routine of reading your bible and praying.  Memorize bible verses that help you with boundaries.  

8.  Support Group – Group is a healthy place to be each week, instead of on your own.  Guys at group can help you identify blind spots, and work on a good strategy for your behaviors.  

9.  Cut people, places, things out – This is cleaning house with your regular routines and rituals.  It goes beyond boundaries.  Some people and places will promote stumbling, and you need to chop them off.  

10.  Replacement of Behaviors – Replace old habits, behaviors, rituals with new healthy ones.  

Many people stop with defense and don’t deal with their offense.  This is out of balance.  It says that you are working on the outside with out dealing with the inside.  Defense only is behavior change, with no heart change.  

The Pharisees of the New Testament were defense only.  They setup rules and regulations to keep them from breaking the Law, but they had not heart for the Law.  They were hypocrites.  They had a complete reliance upon self, even though they were very spiritual.

Check in tomorrow for a greater understanding of what an offensive strategy for sexual purity looks like. 

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