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How I Lost My Job Because of Porn

January 26, 2010

I’ve told the story a number of times on our blog and podcasts, but I lost my ministry job because of my addiction to Internet pornography.   

EPISODE 000 – My Story   (right click “save as” to save this audio file to your computer)

I was working at a small, denominational office with an unprotected computer.  That should have been a warning right there, but I thought I could handle it.   

I had problems on the computer before, but never for very long.  I usually felt bad enough to confess them to my wife.  But this job setting was different.   

Not only did I bring my lustful self into a dangerous work setting, there were several elements to my work setting that made slipping almost inevitable.   

 

A PERFECT STORM 

  • Open Computer with no filters or accountability 
  • Lots of time alone 
  • Boredom with my job tasks / Lack of creative projects   
  • No personal accountability or people who knew the “real” me 
  • Lots of small slips on the computer that grew into bigger slips 
  • A frustrated sexual life / intimacy at home 

 

NO ESCAPE HATCH
I had confessed to my Christian boss my problems on the computer before.  He told me if he would put content filters on the computer and if it happened again, I was fired.  That makes sense, but his threat was not enough for me to stay sober.  Eventually, I slipped, and felt trapped. 

If I confessed my porn problem again, I knew I would get fired.  So it seemed better to lie.  I began lying to my boss, my wife, and anybody who might ask.  I kept thinking I would be able to stop it.  But the problem only got worse, and more secret. 

WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE?

1.  Talk about it – I mentioned it to my boss and wife one time, but I was not actively talking to someone else about my Internet usage.  I had no accountability, or people who knew me.  

2.  Armor up from Day 1 – My computer needed filters, immediately.  I needed accountability software.  I needed others in on the battle with me.   

3.  Quit if it is a persistent problem 

4.  Tell the truth – No matter how hard it is, this is the right thing to do.  Now I value my relationships much more than my discomfort. 

 

ENCOURAGMENT FROM JEFF
Maybe you’re struggling with your job and feel trapped.  I understand.  I lost my job, my ministry, my home, and almost lost my family over my cover up.  The problem was not the pornography, it was my cover up.   

Be courageous.  Talk to someone safe.  Value the truth.  Go God’s direction!

porntopurity@gmail.com

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