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Simplify, Focus, Listen

February 4, 2010

Simplify my life.  Focus on others.  Listen better.  

Those are some of the big themes God has been teaching me over this last year of my sexual recovery. 

My life has historically been crowded with responsibilities, goals, and busyness.  I approached 2009 with no task list, no resolutions, and no goals except to focus on my recovery and my marriage.  

This “blank slate” mentality has been refreshing.  If feels like God has been rebooting my system.  He has me dropping my will, and opening up to His will.   

  • I kept my church life simple, not committing to very much. 
  • I cleared my weekday evenings to focus on family.
  • I joined a recovery group the meets on Saturdays instead of Wednesdays.
  • We got a family membership at a gym and go together 2x week.  


My counselor pointed out that most people in their first year of recovery focus on themselves, their pain, their crisis, their consequences, and their recovery.  That was me in 2008.   

He said those who are maturing in recovery are beginning to focus on others.  He wanted me to pursue more of these avenues.   

  • I started to care about people at my work. 
  • I pursued the newer guys in our recovery group to encourage them
  • Marsha and I started our website, blog & podcasts

 I feel like I have a better balance now.  I am pouring myself into others more often. 


This is where I’m at right now.  I need to be a better listener.   

  •  To God
  •  To my mentors
  •  To guys in recovery that are hurting
  •  To my wife
  •  To my kids


I have been praying better, but I want to take time to be quiet and listen to God.  I want to learn to pause and listen to Him before I make a decision.   

Q:  What lessons have you been learning over the last year?

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