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Objectifying: What’s Her Name?

February 8, 2010

If there is a girl that is triggery to me, my accountability partner would ask me “What’s her name?”   

When I would check in with my accountability partner each week, he would ask me they key questions, I would talk about temptation, how I was feeling, and anything or anyone around me that was triggery.  On one occasion I mentioned a girl at work that was triggery.  He asked me for her name.   

I figured I knew the importance of that, but asked him anyway.  He said he was writing down her name to ask me next time how I was doing with that girl and what I was doing to avoid any problems.   

 

Names humanize others – She is not longer “some girl at work”, or “a woman I met”, she is a person.  She is a human being.   

Names remind us they have a family – The woman is somebody, but also somebody’s daughter, wife, mother.  We need to be reminded that they are connected to their own vital relationships and have a story. 

Names help us be specific in accountability – We like to minimize triggers and bad relationships to our benefit.  We want to be detached from them.  Naming a person brings them into the light.   

Names help us with fantasy – When we have looked at p—- we don’t know names and stories.  We see objects on a screen.  Naming a person brings them closer to reality.  It makes us harder to escape into fantasyland with this person.   

Names give us someone to pray for or surrender to God – A good strategy if we’re having trouble objectifying women is to pray for them.  We can pray for them.  Our accountability partners can pray for them specifically.   

On a number of occasions I would sit at my desk at work with my journal and call out the names of any triggery women to God.  To keep it discreet I would write out each of their initials, pray for them, and surrender them and myself to God. 

Consider the importance of names and specifics in your journey toward sexual purity.

THOUGHTS
I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Email:  porntopurity@gmail.com
Twitter:  @porntopurity

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