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The Undercurrent: A Key to Healing and Recovery

February 19, 2010

** This is a reprint from a July 22, 2009 post. 

I thought purity and recovery was primarily about my outward sexual behaviors. My main goal for a long time was just to STOP.  Pastors, friends and even counselors seemed to focus more on stopping the bad and starting new behaviors.

A major breakthrough happened in recovery when I was sitting in a men’s support group, and people kept talking about “dealing with the stuff underneath”. They often asked what stresses a person was going through. The group leaders seemed to focus less on the outward behavior and more on the inward behavior.

Inside of us we all have a swirl of emotions, wounds, experiences that drive who we are. I call it the undercurrent. It is the wave of stuff that drives our outward behaviors. I’ve listed some things that might make up your undercurrent.

  1. Wounds – hurts of any kind that happened as a child, adolescent, or even now
  2. Unmet Needs – lonliness, rejection, not feeling valued, held to a perfect standard
  3. Abuse – things that were done to you
  4. Sexual Experiences – finding your first porn mag, seeing someone naked, clicks on porn sites, girlfriends, boyfriends, sexual experiences, experimentation
  5. Family Background – how your family responded to and talked about sexual things
  6. Anger – anger over anything that you’ve held onto in the past
  7. Stress
  8. Hurt Feelings

 fighting family hurt boy



  • Take a personal inventory – on a sheet of paper start listing your hurts; trace the roots of your sexual problem; write as much as you can
  • Start journaling – this helps so much with the anger and feelings
  • handsYou need some skilled hands – counselors, ministers; people who are good and helping with the inside stuff
  • You need some wise people – mentors and people who have been through it; go find them
  • Call out to God for help – He is the only one who can help you with the deep stuff, the heart stuff; he needs to be Lord of the undercurrent

When you start focusing on the undercurrent, it’s amazing how the health will start to come. It’s amazing the healing that will take place. It’s amazing the strides you will make in being able to work on your outward behavior. if you want to share your story or talk with us

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