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6 Types of Erosion the Sexual Addict Can’t See

February 25, 2010

Our sexual sin affects many things we cannot see, yet.

Erosion brings a hidden, slow devestation.  Erosion to soil can cause a house to sink into the ground.  Erosion of the nuts and bolts in your car cause parts to go bad.  Beach erosion causes houses and lighthouses to have to be moved. 

When we are struggling sexually and don’t talk about it, a deadly erosion takes place on many levels.  

Erosion of our spiritual life – Our relationship with God.  Our prayer life.  Our spiritual fervency.  Our intimacy with God.  Our focus on Kingdom things.  We cannot be holy vessels when we are holding onto sexual sin.  We cannot be sensitive to the Holy Spirit when we are in sin.

Erosion of our authenticity – We can’t be our true self.  A second person exists.  We lack integrity.  We pretend.  We lie. 

Erosion of our sense of truth – We are slowly being deceived into thinking that keeping a secret is OK.  We begin to convince ourselves that it would be better not to share; that there will be less carnage and consequence.  We start believing lies.  Even lies that our behavior is not that bad, or that somehow, it’s OK with God.  We don’t realize how far we are straying from a sense of truth. 

Erosion of our relationships – We give less energy and passion to others.  We are becoming self-absorbed,  protective and private.  There’s a part of us that we can’t offer to others.  We cannot fully minister to others.  When we do connect with others, it is devoid of the power of God from a clean vessel.

Erosion of our passions – Our passion is not God, but ourselves.  Our passion becomes our sexual habits.  This is idolatry.  We are giving ourselves to something God did not ordain for us.  The energy that we could be using to serve Him, our spouse, and others is being given to porn, fantasy, masturbation or adultery. 

Erosion of other people’s lives – Some of us are involved in illicit relationships with other people.  We may be having an affair, encounters with prostitutes, anonymous sex, or an emotional affair.  In some cases a parishioner is involved; someone you counseled, a secretary, a teenager, a child.  Other people become victims of our behaviors. 

When we are in the middle of our sexual sin, we do not see these types of erosion.  God may have blow our life apart before we see the erosion.  There is always degradation with sin, and sin always puts us on its destructive path. 

The key to stopping the erosion is to share the secret.  The only way for the power to be taken out of the secret is to talk about out with safe people.  Darkeness must come into light.  The affects of erosion will contnue as long as the secret remains.  Erosion will never magically disappear.  It has to be arrested and counteracted with something bigger than ourselves. 

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