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Comfort For Those Having a Tough Time During the Holidays

April 4, 2010



Hey everyone in our P2P community.  We hope you’re Easter was a good one.  But we are reminded that holidays can be rough for those of you in the middle of sexual addiction recovery:

1.  Holidays are hard for some of you – Your family may be busted up right now.  This may be your first year in recovery from porn addiction.  It might be an incredibly hard time. 

We understand.  Our first holidays after Jeff’s addiction broke were really hard.  We had left Buffalo, left our church, and left our house.  We were in a “foreign land” and still very hurt and angry and separate in this battle. 

If this is you, your spouse, or your family… hang in there.  It won’t always hurt this bad. 

2.  Holidays can be quiet times, and quiet times are painful – When we get quiet, we feel.  That’s why we stay busy a lot.  We try to busy ourselves or entertain ourselves to escape the pain.  But if your addiction is wide open, you may be feeling the pain. 

When we are quiet our minds go to the things that are in our hearts.  And for many of us, pain is right under the surface. 

An essential part of the recovery process is working through pain.  Just remember, we have to work on that in healthy ways.  Talk it out with a friend.  Pay a visit to a counselor or your minister.  Write it out in your journal.

3.  Holidays can be busy times, and busy times are stressful – The other end of holidays is STRESS.  We may be so busy visiting family, singing in cantata, attending services, getting dressed up, going out to wait for 2 hours for a meal.  Stressful! 

Try not to let the stress put a wedge in your recovery or your relationships.  Part of you having a good strategy for recovery is planning ahead.  Cutting things out, and thinning that calendar.  Your major goal is to work on recovery and to work it hard.  Make sure your calendar (and your finances) reflect that.

4.  God’s presence is all over during the holidays – This is such an important time to focus on your relationship with God.  The bigger picture of recovery is found in God.  The deep healing is found in God. 

Talk to God.  Get angry with Him.  Tell Him about your hurts.  Tell Him what you’re struggling with.  He really does care.  He loves you and is there to bring His comfort and strength.
Marsha and I would be glad to pray for you as you work through your sexual addiction recovery.  You can shoot us a private email at

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