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14 Types of Denial in Addiction – part 2

April 21, 2010

 

Yesterday, my friend @purifyinggrace shared with us seven of the 14 Types of Denial in Addiction.  Today he finishes the list.  

14 Types of Denial in Addiction – Part 1
14 Types of Denial in Addiction – Part 2
 

8.  Blaming: This is when you shift blame and responsibility from yourself to another person, and many times this is done unconsciously since in the depth of our being we really don’t want to be held responsible for something. I call this the Adam Syndrome as this is what Adam did in the Garden (Genesis 3) by wrongly blaming Eve for his rebellion. This includes, “Well, you would cruise all night, too, if you had my job,” or “If my spouse weren’t so cold…” or “I can’t help it, the baby cries day and night and makes me nervous.”

9.  Intellectualizing: This is avoiding feelings and responsibility by thinking or by asking why. This person tries to explain everything getting lost in detail, rabbit trails, and/or storytelling. This often includes pretending superior intellect and using intelligence as a weapon. If you watch the TV Show Bones, Dr. Temprance Brennan does this often.

10.  Victim Mentality (Carnes, Hopelessness/Helplessness): This is where a person says, “I’m a victim,” or “I can’t help it,” or “There is nothing I can do to get better,” or “I’m the worst.”

11.  Manipulative Behavior: This usually involves some distortion of reality including the use of power, lies, secrets, or guilt to exploit others.

12.  Compartmentalizing: This is something that almost every addict does (I actually want to say EVERY but will hold back). This is separating your life into compartments in which you do things that you keep separate from other parts of your life. This is like a Jackel and Hyde or a separation of Public and Private life to the point where it is unhealthy driven by thoughts of “If they only knew, then…”

13.  Crazymaking: This occurs when we are confronted by others who DO have a correct perception…we simply tell them that they are totally wrong. We act indignantly toward them attempting to make them feel crazy by simply positing that they cannot trust their own perceptions.

14.  Seduction: This is the use of charm, humor, good looks, or helpfulness to gain sexual access and cover up insincerity.

 It is a process that is continuous, and I must continually choose to step out of denial in my thinking and definitely any time I do something wrong.

Go through the list.  Mark off the ones that look like you and have your spouse or counselor do the same. 
COMMENTS?
Q:  What are the types of denial that resonate with you?

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@purifyinggrace is a fellow Christian blogger who is still in the recovery process.  He blogs at PurifyingGrace.com and his wife (@unfoldinggrace) writes at UnfoldingGrace.net as they both talk openly and honestly about their struggles through @purifyinggrace‘s porn addiction.

2 Comments
  1. April 21, 2010 7:43 am

    @purifyinggrace

    Great post. I think I have either seen or done most of those but identifying them and giving them a name helps to address them.

  2. JeffTN62 permalink
    April 22, 2010 5:45 pm

    best list I have found on the forms of denial – I can not deny that!

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