Skip to content

Right and Wrong Reasons For Staying in Recovery

April 23, 2010

We’re looking at two key questions about our motivations for recovery: 

Q:  Why did you get into recovery?   (Yesterday’s show) 

Q:  What makes you stay in recovery?  

Your answers to both of these questions are important to your story, but also very important to how serious you are about recovery and how long you will stay focused on recovery. 

But what is motivating you to stay in recovery?  That’s a bigger question.  Your motivations will determine how serious you are about recovery, and how long you will continue to stay focused. 



1.  To reconcile my marriage – This is a good thing, but it takes two to reconcile.  What if your spouse doesn’t want to reconcile?

2.  To get fixed – The language is dangerous here.  We are not broken.  Our ability to fix our situation is broken.  Also, recovery will not fix you.  Recovery is a transformational thing.  It is a reboot and redo of your Sexuality.  

3.  To get back to normal – Normal didn’t work, did it?  You are already being transformed into a new person.  God wants us to learn what healthy S is. 

4.  My pastor, wife, judge told me to go – The desire has to come from deep inside you.  You have to want to be well, heal and have victory over your S struggles. 

5.  Looking for the “magic fix” – Some of us think going to a counselor or support group will somehow wipe things away.  We want our consequences to magically go away.  They won’t.  Neither will the pain.  We have to work through that. 

6.  To school others – Some in recovery can get in a dangerous phase of thinking they “Know It All”.  They are usually those new to recovery, and think they have this false confidence of thinking they have their problem solved.  Early in recovery, there is an intensity for many.  Things start working.  Then we start thinking that we are there to teach others these things we’ve somehow mastered in 4 months. 

7.  To give a half effort; to “try it” – We might start recovery with the “try it” philosophy.  But that won’t keep us going for the long haul. Those who are casual will not last long or will continue to slip in and out of bondage to their S sins. 

8.  To get your ministry (or job) back – Some in recovery think that if they start recovery or attend group that they will be able to go back to their old job or ministry.  Maybe, maybe not.  What if God pulls you out of your job and shuts the door?  How are you going to be then?  What if God wants you to stay out of ministry for 3 or 4 years?  God has a Master Plan.  He is the Master and All-Wise.  He knows the things we need to have in our character to be ready for the next chapter.  But we have to learn to trust Him with this chapter. 

9.  Atonement of our sins – You might think that staying in recovery is atonement for your sins.  The more good you do, the more bad that will be cancelled out.  This is very unbiblical.  It’s a Karma philosophy.  The Bible is very clear that Jesus is the only atonement for our sins.  We cannot wipe them away. 

10.  Wipe away consequences – Another form of atonement.  We cannot wipe away the consequences by our attending group.  Relationships have been hurt.  Trust has been broken.  And to be honest, things might get worse before they get better.  What happens when your consequences get worse or new bombs come?  Will that keep you in recovery?

11.  To get people off my back – Maybe you think that if you go to a counselor, pastor, or support group that people will stop getting into your business.  Maybe.  But unless you have something deeper inside you helping you stay in recovery… something that you own… you will fall into relapse.  If you’re in recovery to escape the judgment of others, you’ll find that it’s very shallow. 


  1. I want to heal.
  2. I want to have a healthy sexuality.
  3. I want to honor God with my sexuality
  4. I want to be reminded of my need to stay in the struggle.
  5. I want to be reminded of my vunerability to sinning again.
  6. I want to help others.
  7. I want to be the best husband, dad, man that I can be.
  8. I want to live in God’s mercy and grace.
  9. I want to be in an intimate relationship with God.



It’s important to remember that recovery is not a short term obligation.  It’s a new way of living and thinking.  God wants to transform us from being selfish, self-serving lustful people, into loving, self-less, humble people.  We may have been forced into recovery, or came into recovery out of desperation, but staying in recovery comes from a deeper well.


Q:  What are some other “wrong reasons” people are in recovery?

Q:  What are some other “right reasons”?

One Comment
  1. April 23, 2010 11:45 am

    My word! These eleven lies are right on. I have practiced and believed most of them at different times. Number eight on the healthy list is where I want to be right now. I want to live in God’s mercy and grace. Thanks for a dynamite post. See you tomorrow.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: