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How Bad Relationships Feed Addiction

April 26, 2010

If you are struggling with sexual purity there’s a good chance your relationships and your alone time are part of the problem.

Our relationships and our alone time are out of whack when we are in the middle of an addiction.   Addiction and sexual problems are fueled by them.  

Good recovery means having good relationships and good alone time.


Some of our relationships feed our addiction. 

Sexual Relationships – Adultery, soliciting prostitutes, chat room romances, emotional affairs, being lustful toward our spouse.

Sexualized Relationships – We have relationships with others, but fantacize about them, flirt with them, try to be close to them in inappropriate ways, touch them in inappropriate ways. 

Shallow relationships – Surface-level, never talking about feelings, needs, or the deep stuff. 

** Pause for 10 seconds and think about the level of relationships you have around you. 
Q:  Are your relationships feeding your addiction or helping to heal it?


Sexual purity and victory over addiction can only be found when you have healthy relationships.  If you’re serious about your recovery, you may have to:

  • Ditch some relationships.
  • Find an accountability group or support group.
  • Start sharing your junk with others.
  • Start going deeper with others.
  • Be very intentional about finding healthy, safe people to be friends with. 

Those doing well in purity and in recovery are developing and maintaining healthy relationships.


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