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Key Addiction Recovery Questions For the Married

May 3, 2010

Marsha and I are sharing insights from the Pure Life Ministries 2010 Conference we went to this past weekend. 

One of the last sessions we went to at the conference was a couple’s session by Jeff and Rose Colon.  Both Jeff and Rose are active in the counseling ministry of Pure Life Ministries.  They talk every day with men, women and couples who are struggling with sexual sin. 

In crisis, all we see is the crisis.  All we see is the pain and the consequences.  It’s hard to get a “bigger picture” of what’s really going on.  That Colons reminded us that bigger things are going on when we are suffering with the consequences of an addiction. 

It made me think of some key questions that I need to be asking God:

Q:  God, are your goals for our marriage?
So often, we think the main goal for our recovering marriage is to get back to normal.  Or our larger goals may involve career moves, travel, our children, and retirement.  God may have other things in mind.  We need to look for His goals for our marriage.  We were reminded that our goals may not be God’s goals. 

Q:  God, how do you want us to serve others? 
Marsha and I were reminded that our recovery is not just for ourselves.  God wants us to recover and get healthy because He wants us to serve other people.  He wants to use us to help others who are struggling with addiction, but much, much more. 

Q:  God, what are the things we’re afraid of?
Fears can be paralyzing.  Sexual addiction recovery has put me and Marsha face-to-face with many fears.  Many of these fears involved loss and change.  I lost my job.  We lost our ministry.  Moving to North Carolina was very costly.  It’s easy to get overwhelmed with our fears.

And three years into our recovery we still experience fears when: 

  • When we have an argument.
  • I have a sexual slip.
  • When we have a setback in our intimacy.
  • We have times of discouragement and depression.
  • I became unemployed. 

After the conference, we spent time talking about our fears.  We were reminded that God has taken care of us during this recovery process.  He has never failed us and has always provided for us.

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